Just what are the Christmas-in-the-tropics blues?

Since I got in a bit of trouble on Facebook for saying I had "the Christmas in the tropics blues" (and I truly am sorry I made my friends in Denver read that!), perhaps I should elaborate a bit here. There's a limit to how much I can do so without betraying some personal confidences, so I'll have to be circumspect. Here goes.

I like Singapore, and I like my job. In this economy, I like just having a job at all, if it comes to that, but for the most part I really do like my job in its own right. But sometimes a job can't help but make you feel rather blah, and I've been working my way through a case of that this week. (I was quite sick the week before that, so that probably has something to do with it.) And yes, while a 30 degree C/90 degree F December is a hard thing for a guy whose other homes have included New Hampshire, Iowa, Colorado and Northern Europe to wrap his mind around, I'd rather cope with the weather here than in any of those places at the moment. My best wishes go out to those who are there now!

Here's where the circumspection (is that a word? it should be) comes in. Since I finished Part I of my novel last week, I finally got to work on Part II this week and it's off to a great start. But I wrote a really good line the other night that made for a rather stark revelation for me. It was something a lead character said about some of the choices he's made in his work- and personal-life, and after getting it down on paper I realized I was really thinking of myself. It made me think about my job and how things have gone in Singapore and certain decisions I've made since I've been here and the results thereof. And yes, it triggered a rather bad case of the blues. When I first came here, I wasn't at all sure I'd be here long, and if I had to guess as to whether or not I'd be at this company beyond the six month internship I had initially, I'd have guessed no.

But here I still am. For the most part, that's been all for the better. As I noted over a year ago, I'm a lot better off here than I'd have been at most other places I might have ended up working. The company has grown quite a bit, and things are looking very positive. Logically, I know this was about the best outcome that could have happened compared to the other places I looked into moving to.

Of course, not all in life is logical. I have always liked Singapore and I still do, but the place can be a bit oppressive in how businesslike and button-down it is, and it's also awfully remote from most of the people I care about. That has had its share of costs, and this week I accidentally brought a reminder of that upon myself when my art imitated my life. More than anything, I wish at some point I could have my career follow my life instead of the other way around. I guess there's no reason why that can't happen at some point down the road, of course. This too shall pass.

Yeah, I know this is one of the more self-indulgent posts I've ever put up here, and that it's also rather cryptic. Sorry about that. I just had to write it down for my own sanity at this point. And somewhat surprisingly, I do feel better!