Looking back

Well, I'm still fighting off the last remnants of the Death Flu, but things are getting better. I finally got some antibiotics yesterday, and can keep food down for the first time in a week. Things ought to be truly back to normal in another week or so, I'm guessing. It would be sooner than that if it weren't for my school's aforementioned habit of keeping the windows and doors open all the time when it can't be more than 10 degrees (low 50s in Farenheit) outside! But I'm getting there.

So, with New Year's Eve suddenly upon us, what do you have to say about 2004? What were the good and bad points of the year?

I'll start. By just about any measure, 2004 was the best year I've had in quite a while. Here's why...
THE GOOD
After two years, I finally escaped from a nightmarish work situation and from increasingly stifling DC.
I realized a dream I'd had for years of working overseas, and have loved nearly every minute of it.
However accidentally, that escape coincided with the election of a bunch of thugs back home whose rule I'd prefer not to live under anyway. (Anyone who is thinking of criticizing me for running away from my country when it needs me - come back when you have spent the better part of a decade working for progressive causes, usually at a much lower salary than you could otherwise have expected to make! I did my part, and I've earned the right to try something new - especially something where my efforts are rewarded instead of ignored and abused.)
I've had my loved one here with me since August, after a year and a half of living thousands of miles apart.
I got all the help I needed with my grad school applications, and got a lucky break or two on things like the GRE scores.
Thanks to a variety of circumstances over here, I lost that weight I'd been trying to get rid of for a few years.

THE BAD
I do miss central heating at a time like this!
Applying to schools is demoralizing by nature, and I had hoped last time that I was done with that part of my life.
If the back-to-school plans don't work out, finding a job back home won't be any easier next year.
The elections really were a disaster from where I stand.

So, on balance, it's been a great year. Here's hoping it keeps up in '05! Everyone feel free to add your own good and bad in the comments.

...And the cabin turned castle till the breaking of dawn

No matter how crummy the weather is, sometimes a cup of hot chocolate and a good book are all you really need.
It's too bad that Tuesday still has to come around and my mind has to return to Longtan from that cabin in the pines somewhere - but hey, it's just for now. Someday I will.

We're okay!

I just heard about the earthquake. It didn't hit anywhere near Taiwan. All's well here!

12/26 Blues

And so that was Christmas.

It was a pretty good one. My illness was mostly past, enabling me to eat substantially for the first time in three days. Always a good thing, that. I taught one class in the morning (it's not an official holiday here, after all) and then Trina and I were off to Taipei for the afternoon. A pleasant few hours were spent in the bookstore, then after a pleasant dinner we caught the bus home. A low-key Christmas, but a nice one.

I'm not feeling so cheery today. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because my illness is still only mostly past, although I do feel a heck of a lot better than last week. Maybe it's the chilly, drizzly weather or the Taiwanese's maddening tendency to pretend their semi-tropical weather is fully tropical by leaving all the windows open even when it's cold. Maybe it's that post-Christmas realization that yet another year has gone by. It was a very, very good year for me in most respects, so I know I shouldn't complain, but still. Another year. When did I grow up, anyway?

I'll be fine in a day or two. Happy new year!

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell

It's a real pain in the neck trying to teach the word "an" with a stuffy nose, let me tell you!
I'm riding out the storm on what was either the flu or the worst cold I've ever had, and will be back with more stories of the Christmas season in Taiwan when I'm feeling less groggy and more alert!

I AM a feminist, but...

What is the big idea with the men's rooms at Taipei 101 always having a cleaning lady poking around while we're expected to be, er, using the facilities? Yeah, I know the threat to our physical safety is infantessimal compared to the other way around, but that ain't the only reason why we have separate bathrooms for men and women. It's also a matter of privacy and boundaries, folks.

It's funny, though. For a society that has a reputation for being far more reserved than the West, certain taboos aren't really taboo here. I guess this is one of them, like it or not.

This year's Scrooge Moment

I'm feeling more eloquent - and longwinded - than yesterday. You've been warned!

I don't really know why Scrooge Moments happen, but nearly every Christmas season, they do.

I can recall them as far back as junior high, when I was still young enough to be a sucker for the feel-good Christmas specials on TV and such. That glowy well-being you got from watching them would only last until the next morning at school, when I'd run head on into the bullies on both sides of the teacher's desk! (It's embarrassing to admit now that I'm a teacher and a would-be PhD candidate, but I didn't like school much at all until about halfway through high school, and my grades tended to reflect as much until then. Sorry, Mom!) Once I got my fair share of real-life abuse, all the warm fuzzies of the holidays just made it seem worse rather than better.

Later on my grades and my attitude got better, but Christmas didn't. I vividly recall the holidays when I was a high school senior, feeling lonely and isolated even though I had quite a few friends at the time and wishing someone would say it was okay to feel that way just then. But it wasn't to be found! Everywhere I looked, nothing but platitudes about friends and family and peace and joy - there's nothing worse than celebrating togetherness when you're not "together" with anyone. I finally found some satisfaction that year, though, from an Ann Landers column reminding people that the Hallmark moments you see on TV are fiction and no one's Christmas is really that heartwarming. It was Ann's finest hour, and almost enough to get me to forgive her for that anti-suicide column she published, which ended with an inspiring encouragement to "remember, the sun also rises." No, I'm not joking. You can't make that stuff up.

And about the Hallmark commercials and others like them. They were and are to blame too. It's easy enough to remember that they're fiction and no one's homefires are quite that bright and cheery, but then it's even easier to fall into the trap of "maybe no one's home situation is that nice, but no one's is as chilly or uncomfortable as mine is either!" Most of us are wrong to think that way, of course, but the constant bombardment with "heartwarming" images from Thanksgiving to New Years makes it awfully hard to keep that much perspective.

Happily, of course, something has nearly always happened to pull me out of my annual Scrooge Moment after not too long. Record hunting with Bernie back in high school and being greeted at the store door by our favorite dealer with his latest Beatles 45s...coming home from Arby's at 1:00 in the morning and listening to the Jimmy Buffett box set (a purchase that literally changed my life a decade later!) for the very first time...a lazy afternoon in Allison's room after finals week '93 with the freezing rain falling outside and us cozy inside, chatting about her family and my dating fiascoes (of which she soon became the biggest of all time, but at least I got one wonderful memory out of the deal)...imbibing with John Z. at a townie bar after helping him move into his new apartment just before I flew home for my last Christmas in college...arriving for dinner at the student house after the long walk home from work during my first December in DC, when I was sometimes too broke to ride the subway home...Christmas teas in the same house with the trustees after I got back on my feet...relaxing on my own with my records and comic strip books after finishing that last paper...like it or not, the joy has usually worked its way back in sooner or later whether I wanted it to or not.

So just what is a Scrooge Moment? The name is really pretty self-explanatory. It's a moment when I just want to shut myself in my room and fall asleep until two weeks or so after Christmas and never have to think about Glad Tidings and Cups of Cheer again. This year, it came yesterday at our kindy planning meeting. Between three extra classes this week and being acting head teacher while the real one is out of town and having to write a five-minute Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer skit for next week's Christmas show and trying to teach all my kids the words to various carols when they want nothing to do with it and getting over a cold and having to run home and pay the rent, I really, really did not need to find out that it was also the day we were supposed to give our first secret-Santa gifts to our assigned "partners." I hadn't signed up to be a secret Santa (no one had; the entire staff was required to participate), I wouldn't have done so if I'd had a choice since I'm never very good at these things and have so much else on my mind, and I was just truly peeved that I'd let the ball drop just like I knew I would! It was noon and I hadn't bought anything. I just about announced to all assembled at the meeting that my recipient could take a flying leap and take the collective Christmas Spirit with her - but having the branch manager sitting next to you is a pretty big incentive to mind your tongue.

And then I found my gift.

It wasn't much, just a snack pack of cookies like you can buy in any 7-11, but my mystery angel left a note with it. "Dear Dave, you look so cute with your glasses. Have a nice dream! Your Angel."

Awwww.

It's funny, I've thought glasses were sexy on women (and girls before them) for about as long as I've been aware of them at all, but it never occurred to me that I wasn't the only one. You learn something new every day. So when I read that, all my bitterness vanished. And I remembered that on that trip home to pay the rent, I would pass a stationery store that sold all sorts of cheap accessories that are great for teachers. I picked up a couple of inkstamps with encouraging words on them for her to use on her kids' homework - my kids love them. And gee, somehow I managed to get everything else done as well. Except the Rudolph play, but I have until next Saturday for that.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a great weekend!

Christmas in the sunshine

Last Friday, I had a six-hour break between classes, and managed to sneak off to Chung Li for an afternoon sipping and reading at Starbucks. Between the peppermint latte, the cloudy weather and the Christmas music in the dimly lit coffee shop, it almost felt like home. I'm glad I managed to get that afternoon in, because the rest of December will be very busy except for Sundays.

In any case, this will be my warmest Christmas yet by far. I must say it is nice needing no more than a light jacket (and sometimes not even that) in December, and I'm not too upset about missing the worst of the commericalism back home. There is some of that here too, of course, but Asia being Asia, the kitch is present to varying degrees year round anyhow.

Hmm, I'd set out to make this post quite a bit more profound, but that's all I can think of to say just now. Maybe tomorrow.

Tell me again why health care is a losing issue for progressives?

I had a pretty bad cold over the weekend. It's an occupational hazard of spending so much time around children. I was concerned about losing my voice - doing my job is literally impossible without it, and we have no sick leave at my school - so I went to the doctor this afternoon.

I hadn't made an appointment, and I wasn't even able to communicate verbally with anyone in the office except the doctor himself. (Most doctors in Taiwan speak English. There's some kind of requirement that they study in an English-speaking country at some point.) I showed my health-care card at the front desk, paid my fee, saw the doctor, got my prescription, and had it filled at the pharmacy across the street.

Without an appointment, the whole procedure took ten minutes and cost about $4 US.

I truly hope there's a special place in Hell for the DC insurance lobby.

Someday Finally Comes

Thanks to the miracle of the Internet, I can usually stay pretty well up to date on what's what in music, as in politics and other things that interest me. But the very big news of John Fogerty's new CD had somehow eluded me until I picked up a copy in Taoyuen yesterday.

And let's not underestimate what a major event this really is. In 32 years since the demise of CCR, this is only his seventh* album - and the other six include one all-covers collection and one live set consisting mostly of old Creedence songs. So another CD of all-new songs is really something else. Besides, given what's in the news these days, it's no time for the genius behind "Fortunate Son" and "Who'll Stop the Rain" to be silent. Sure enough, the title track to "Deja Vu All Over Again" is all about the war and how depressingly predictable it's been.

I got home late last night and only had time to listen to it once, and my preliminary feeling is that it's not quite up to the level of his best. But it's a nice surprise all the same, and sometimes the great records do take a while to grow on you. Thanks, John, and God bless!


*Excluding the Hoodoo album, which has never been released legitimately and all but certainly never will be. Bootlegs abound, but I've heard it isn't very good.

Never give up!

When I was a kid, tomatoes were high on the list of foods I hated. I still don't like them much, but I do eat them if they come with something I order. They're good for you and all.

Sometimes our morning snack for the kindy kids includes cherry tomatoes. Some of the kids love them, but quite a few are more like I was at their age. One of the boys is particularly firm about it all - a few weeks ago, I persuaded him to eat his tomato, and doing so made him cry. So I was less forceful with him this morning when it was once again Tomato Day, but I did put one on his plate and encourage him - gently! - to eat it.

He got as far as putting it in his mouth, but wouldn't bite on it. He just kept it between his cheek and teeth for the rest of snack time. Oh well, I figured, sooner or later he'd eat it just to get it over with. Or at worst, he'd spit it out.

Two hours later, we were getting the kids ready for lunch. I shepherded them all into the bathroom to wash their hands. As Oliver was on his way back out to the classroom, I noticed he still had that bulge in his mouth.

"Do you still have that tomato?!"

He grinned and opened his mouth. The peel was still intact!

I think he finally got it down along with his lunch, but it's hard to tell for sure. He proved to be pretty good at hiding it!