It's over?

I just stumbled out of what I sincerely hope will be my last-ever exam. I don't feel it went very well at all, but since I passed the midterm, I'll probably pass the class either way. At least that's what I need to believe just now! If I do pass, all that's left between me and my MBA is a brief presentation of how my internship went. (Well, I may not get full credit until I do another internship or find a job, but that was a necessary next step anyhow.) And yes, it probably went better than I think. But I do miss the days when I could walk out of an exam thinking I had done a good job on it rather than just scraping by or maybe not even that.

As fits the mood lately, I didn't feel much post-exam joy at all on leaving the test room. It was more a lingering sense of not-quite-accomplishment that has been associated with HEC for me since at least May or so. For a program that got off to a great start, I really feel like I'm just hanging on to stumble across the finish line in last place at this point, and even that will be okay as long as I do make it to the finish line. It's still not quite certain that I will do so. I have, however, noticed that a lot of things are falling into place lately just as I have given up any hope that they ever will. So things will probably turn out okay in the end, however barely.

I certainly am looking forward to going back to work, and at last count I had seven fairly strong possibilities for internships or jobs. So there is a light out there somewhere. Whatever happens next, I imagine that next Christmas, I'll be able to look back at this one and be glad things have improved so much. Looking back at last Christmas - passing all my exams, most of them comfortably, followed by the trip to Portugal and back...well, this year doesn't really measure up!