Having spent much of the week sitting at my computer sending off job applications (I think I got about 20 of them done in the past week - not a bad haul), I've had plenty of time to watch and listen to CNN in the background. Amidst the sad news about Benzair Bhutto, I did catch something rather more lighthearted earlier this morning. It seems in New York, some group or other has invited people to write down all their frustrations and bad news from 2007 and run the paper through a shredder, to be used as confetti on New Year's Eve.
I, for one, think that's a delightful idea.
The first day of 2007 found me waking to a sunny, warm day in an old but beautiful (and surprisingly cheap) hotel room in Portugal. It's a lovely memory, but had I known what kind of year I was in for, I'd have probably barricaded myself in that room and never come out if I could help it. I've long been at the point where the best thing I could say about 2007 is that I survived it.
But I must concede, it has not been all bad. I did (probably) complete my MBA; now that I've moved on to all job applications all the time and stopped obsessing over that last exam, I believe I probably passed it. I'm not going to declare victory until I know for sure, but the panic has mostly passed. The only other remaining requirement was a paper on my internship, which I submitted on Christmas Day. Finishing my third degree seemed like a good gift to myself. And as a colleague of mine said last spring, an MBA is an investment. You do it in hope that it will pay off later on, not because you expect it to be any fun while it's actually going on. And there were times that were fun, in any case. It's sometimes hard to remember that given the way the past couple of months have gone, but it's true. Looking back on HEC, I can tell it's going to be a positive memory overall. So that's one good point for the year.
What else is to be said of the good and bad of 2007? I'll get the bad news out of the way first:
-The internship was a big disappointment.
-My grades weren't what I'd have liked them to be, although I'm told that really doesn't matter in an MBA.
-I was unlucky in love twice...it's good that I got right back up and gave it another try, but the other try was just as unsuccessful as the first one!
-Job searches are never easy, but one does forget just how miserable they are until it's actually upon us.
-There is still a slight chance I won't be graduating, although I will have a chance to fix that well before June.
-I'm more than ready to leave Luxembourg, but can't for at least another month due to the last few loose ends to be tied up at HEC.
-After borrowing a lot of money and working very hard for the past year, I've increasingly come to suspect I'd have been happier in the long run if I'd stuck with teaching. But if I had done that, I'd never have known for sure.
Now, the good news...
-Regarding that last item in the bad news, I'll never have to wonder about "what if," in any case.
-I did learn a lot at HEC, and I also got to make a lot of great friends from all over the world.
-However underwhelming the internship was, it's one more item I can point to on my CV.
-I also now know one more thing I definitely do not want to do with my life, and yes, that's a good thing.
-I got to spend a lot of quality time in one of the world's most beautiful cities.
-I also got to visit half a dozen or so countries I'd never been to (or had been to only when I was much too young to remember). When I arrived in France last year, there were five or six countries I had technically been to, but couldn't really say I'd been there because I was just a baby. That list of asterisks is now down to one country, Italy. I thought about going there for Christmas but I just couldn't justify spending the money.
-I'm sure my French has improved, even if I can't necessarily tell.
-While this Christmas season was awfully depressing, it's setting the bar pretty low for next year. I've been thinking as long as I'm not in jail next year, I'll be able to look back and say how much has improved!
More to come if I think of them...but I think that's about it. I guess it was a less eventful year than the previous few.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Monday, December 24, 2007
Hey, it really IS Christmas!
My biggest frustration so far on the job search has been that my colleagues' success in finding jobs has been highly correlated with what they did before the MBA. Of those who have found jobs already, most are just moving up in the same industry. Some are even going back to the exact same company. (Of course, as explained in the last post, there is a chance I'll do the same, but that's not really the same!) Just when I was really starting to despair about having any similar avenues open to me, what do I find online but an international language-education organization that is recruiting finance and marketing staff!
I don't know if they're going to be interested in someone with my particular profile (the actual job listings were along the lines of "five years' marketing experience at a well-known firm" and so forth), but it does sound like a natural fit. After sending off that application last night, I slept better than I have in a while.
I don't know if they're going to be interested in someone with my particular profile (the actual job listings were along the lines of "five years' marketing experience at a well-known firm" and so forth), but it does sound like a natural fit. After sending off that application last night, I slept better than I have in a while.
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Was this all just an extremely expensive vacation?
For two years now, it's been a fairly common refrain of mine. If you were with me at HEC or DU, you probably heard me say it at some point. If you read this blog regularly, you've probably "seen" me say it. I've thought it many times without saying or writing it. "If this doesn't work out, I could always go back to Taiwan..."
As the MBA finally draws to a close amid numerous frustrations and a monumental amount of stress, and as the job market for newly minted MBAs seems mostly confined to whatever they were doing before their MBAs, and as I try to be patient with somewhat promising leads that haven't led anywhere just yet, and as I came away from the past week in Jouy with something like a sense of closure over the whole thing, I found myself thinking about it all once again over the weekend. Then two things happened.
The first was that I did get a business job offer of sorts. You might think that would end any thoughts of going back to teaching, but, well, the job was selling insurance in Scranton. That's right, Scranton. The city my family has been trying to escape from since 1912 or so, the aptly cast setting of the American version of The Office, the city that escaped the withering pen of Billy Joel only because Allentown is a lot easier to rhyme...and so far, the only place where I can count on a job that would ostensibly be using my degree.
The second was something so obvious I must have chosen not to think of it before. If I did reapply for my old job, that wouldn't mean I would have to take it. (For that matter, there's not even a guarantee they'll take me back, though I'd be very surprised if they didn't.) If I did take it, I wouldn't have to stay forever and I could continue looking for other opportunities while doing work I loved.
Before I could talk myself out of veering from the path of progress, I bit the bullet and applied. And so it is that I find myself here at my laptop in Luxembourg, two years on and thousands of dollars and euros behind, pondering the possibility that I could wind up back where I once belonged and finding that I'm not all that upset about it. Well, I am in the sense that it does feel like a step backward. But my alternative two years ago would have been to always wonder if I should have gone back to school. As it is, at least I'll have the degree for future endeavors, if there ever are any available. Underpaid work that you love is better than well paid work you don't like, and it's much better than no work at all, which just might be better than selling insurance in Scranton.
Right, but will next summer really find me in Taipei using the macarena to teach the months of the year to a bunch of kids in green and yellow pajamas? Odds are something else will come along, and I do plan to keep looking. But given the level of frustration I've had to cope with over the past few months and the fact that it's not likely to end immediately, I had to have some sure thing out there to lean on. I also can't help thinking of all the nine-to-five desk jobs I've failed at in the past, and really wonder why I ever thought going back to that world was a good idea.
As the MBA finally draws to a close amid numerous frustrations and a monumental amount of stress, and as the job market for newly minted MBAs seems mostly confined to whatever they were doing before their MBAs, and as I try to be patient with somewhat promising leads that haven't led anywhere just yet, and as I came away from the past week in Jouy with something like a sense of closure over the whole thing, I found myself thinking about it all once again over the weekend. Then two things happened.
The first was that I did get a business job offer of sorts. You might think that would end any thoughts of going back to teaching, but, well, the job was selling insurance in Scranton. That's right, Scranton. The city my family has been trying to escape from since 1912 or so, the aptly cast setting of the American version of The Office, the city that escaped the withering pen of Billy Joel only because Allentown is a lot easier to rhyme...and so far, the only place where I can count on a job that would ostensibly be using my degree.
The second was something so obvious I must have chosen not to think of it before. If I did reapply for my old job, that wouldn't mean I would have to take it. (For that matter, there's not even a guarantee they'll take me back, though I'd be very surprised if they didn't.) If I did take it, I wouldn't have to stay forever and I could continue looking for other opportunities while doing work I loved.
Before I could talk myself out of veering from the path of progress, I bit the bullet and applied. And so it is that I find myself here at my laptop in Luxembourg, two years on and thousands of dollars and euros behind, pondering the possibility that I could wind up back where I once belonged and finding that I'm not all that upset about it. Well, I am in the sense that it does feel like a step backward. But my alternative two years ago would have been to always wonder if I should have gone back to school. As it is, at least I'll have the degree for future endeavors, if there ever are any available. Underpaid work that you love is better than well paid work you don't like, and it's much better than no work at all, which just might be better than selling insurance in Scranton.
Right, but will next summer really find me in Taipei using the macarena to teach the months of the year to a bunch of kids in green and yellow pajamas? Odds are something else will come along, and I do plan to keep looking. But given the level of frustration I've had to cope with over the past few months and the fact that it's not likely to end immediately, I had to have some sure thing out there to lean on. I also can't help thinking of all the nine-to-five desk jobs I've failed at in the past, and really wonder why I ever thought going back to that world was a good idea.
Friday, December 21, 2007
And I'm never going back to my old school (?)
My latest week in Jouy and Paris is wrapping up, as the final internship seminar finishes tomorrow morning. I haven't yet decided when I'll go back to Luxembourg, as I do have a free bed here if I want it, but I'll probably return sooner rather than later. I really should get back to sending out another round of job applications. One thing I've found in my week here is that a lot of my colleagues don't have jobs yet, and some haven't even really started looking yet. (Others do, of course, and I'm happy for them but also rather jealous!) It's nice to know I'm not alone and all that, but it's really getting awfully stressful all the same. It's easy to forget that I don't really graduate until June even though all my coursework is (probably) done. But I don't want to sit around until then, and I couldn't afford to even if I did want to!
In any case, it hit me late this evening when I finally stumbled out of a lengthy seminar on alternative energy: there is a small but significant possibility that this week could mark my very last time at HEC. In a way I hope it is, because my most likely cause for returning at this point would be to re-take the exam I took earlier this week, and I really do not want to have to do that. (Yes, I'm probably being paranoid. Let's hope so anyway!) It has me feeling oddly poignant in light of the fact that I couldn't wait to be done. While the last few months have been pretty miserable, I did have some great times here and I met some wonderful people. It's sad to think that's over. Of course some of my closest friends have already been gone since summer, off on exchange, which already made the campus feel a bit empty in the first place. There is also a chance I'll end up working in Paris, in which case it'll be just a short train ride away but one I'd be unlikely to make - why bother? And several of my friends from here will be there as well.
I guess the thing is, though, assuming I passed that exam and my internship paper is accepted, my coursework is done. Odds are I won't end up in Paris, if only because it's just one of numerous places I'm looking, and the odds of me ending up in any one of them are fairly slim. So this week does mark a greater finality than any of the milestones that have come and gone since July. Since I don't yet have a clue where I'll be going next but I am pretty sure I'll be going somewhere, it's perhaps the biggest finality there's going to be in the whole crazy experience. And it feels like the whole thing just sort of wound down in a rather anticlimactic way. There is graduation, of course, but my presence there depends mostly on where I am living by then and whether I can get the time off from the job I intend to have by then. It's a definite maybe.
But hey, we'll always have the memories, and there are plenty of those. So to all my colleagues, just in case I don't see you again, thanks for the memories. We'll always have Paris. And Jouy, with its three restaurants. And the piano bar. And the Holiday Inn. And the K-fet. I hope we do all meet again, and that we're all gainfully employed by then!
In any case, it hit me late this evening when I finally stumbled out of a lengthy seminar on alternative energy: there is a small but significant possibility that this week could mark my very last time at HEC. In a way I hope it is, because my most likely cause for returning at this point would be to re-take the exam I took earlier this week, and I really do not want to have to do that. (Yes, I'm probably being paranoid. Let's hope so anyway!) It has me feeling oddly poignant in light of the fact that I couldn't wait to be done. While the last few months have been pretty miserable, I did have some great times here and I met some wonderful people. It's sad to think that's over. Of course some of my closest friends have already been gone since summer, off on exchange, which already made the campus feel a bit empty in the first place. There is also a chance I'll end up working in Paris, in which case it'll be just a short train ride away but one I'd be unlikely to make - why bother? And several of my friends from here will be there as well.
I guess the thing is, though, assuming I passed that exam and my internship paper is accepted, my coursework is done. Odds are I won't end up in Paris, if only because it's just one of numerous places I'm looking, and the odds of me ending up in any one of them are fairly slim. So this week does mark a greater finality than any of the milestones that have come and gone since July. Since I don't yet have a clue where I'll be going next but I am pretty sure I'll be going somewhere, it's perhaps the biggest finality there's going to be in the whole crazy experience. And it feels like the whole thing just sort of wound down in a rather anticlimactic way. There is graduation, of course, but my presence there depends mostly on where I am living by then and whether I can get the time off from the job I intend to have by then. It's a definite maybe.
But hey, we'll always have the memories, and there are plenty of those. So to all my colleagues, just in case I don't see you again, thanks for the memories. We'll always have Paris. And Jouy, with its three restaurants. And the piano bar. And the Holiday Inn. And the K-fet. I hope we do all meet again, and that we're all gainfully employed by then!
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
One piece of good news, anyhow
Just after I hit send on that last post, I stopped by to chat with the guy in charge of the internship-for-credit program here. I explained that I had tried to get in touch with my assigned mentor for the program regarding my problems with the internship and my plans for what to do next, but that he hadn't replied to my repeated e-mails. I fully expected the professor to tell me it was somehow my fault, because that's the way it usually works around here. Instead, he said he'd run into the same problem with that mentor and that I could now deal directly with him instead, which would be much easier for both of us. He also said I could still get credit for my internship if I turned in a final paper by new year's.
I guess it's pretty sad that I've come to the point of being surprised when somebody here cuts a student a bit of slack and deals with the student reasonably, but hey a nice surprise is a nice surprise. And it was something I could certainly use just now!
I guess it's pretty sad that I've come to the point of being surprised when somebody here cuts a student a bit of slack and deals with the student reasonably, but hey a nice surprise is a nice surprise. And it was something I could certainly use just now!
It's over?
I just stumbled out of what I sincerely hope will be my last-ever exam. I don't feel it went very well at all, but since I passed the midterm, I'll probably pass the class either way. At least that's what I need to believe just now! If I do pass, all that's left between me and my MBA is a brief presentation of how my internship went. (Well, I may not get full credit until I do another internship or find a job, but that was a necessary next step anyhow.) And yes, it probably went better than I think. But I do miss the days when I could walk out of an exam thinking I had done a good job on it rather than just scraping by or maybe not even that.
As fits the mood lately, I didn't feel much post-exam joy at all on leaving the test room. It was more a lingering sense of not-quite-accomplishment that has been associated with HEC for me since at least May or so. For a program that got off to a great start, I really feel like I'm just hanging on to stumble across the finish line in last place at this point, and even that will be okay as long as I do make it to the finish line. It's still not quite certain that I will do so. I have, however, noticed that a lot of things are falling into place lately just as I have given up any hope that they ever will. So things will probably turn out okay in the end, however barely.
I certainly am looking forward to going back to work, and at last count I had seven fairly strong possibilities for internships or jobs. So there is a light out there somewhere. Whatever happens next, I imagine that next Christmas, I'll be able to look back at this one and be glad things have improved so much. Looking back at last Christmas - passing all my exams, most of them comfortably, followed by the trip to Portugal and back...well, this year doesn't really measure up!
As fits the mood lately, I didn't feel much post-exam joy at all on leaving the test room. It was more a lingering sense of not-quite-accomplishment that has been associated with HEC for me since at least May or so. For a program that got off to a great start, I really feel like I'm just hanging on to stumble across the finish line in last place at this point, and even that will be okay as long as I do make it to the finish line. It's still not quite certain that I will do so. I have, however, noticed that a lot of things are falling into place lately just as I have given up any hope that they ever will. So things will probably turn out okay in the end, however barely.
I certainly am looking forward to going back to work, and at last count I had seven fairly strong possibilities for internships or jobs. So there is a light out there somewhere. Whatever happens next, I imagine that next Christmas, I'll be able to look back at this one and be glad things have improved so much. Looking back at last Christmas - passing all my exams, most of them comfortably, followed by the trip to Portugal and back...well, this year doesn't really measure up!
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Here's one I hadn't run into before
I had a job interview yesterday, here in Luxembourg. It turned out that the company in question had a hiring freeze on. Why, then, were they interviewing people? It seemed somebody there saw my CV and thought I might be right for a traineeship for the same company but based in another city. (I'll keep the details off the radar here for the time being, as I have a lot of "maybes" in at least four different cities at the moment.) By the end of the interview, the woman interviewing me said she would pass my details on to the folks in charge of that program and we'd be in touch shortly.
Of course I'm pretty happy about that outcome, but I'm still wondering why they were recruiting here if they're not actually hiring here. Odd. Of course, since the deadline for the traineeship program has come and gone without me ever even hearing of it but I got my resume to them anyhow, I have no complaints. Just trying to figure it all out is all.
Still no word on just what I'll be up to right after Christmas, by the way. Most of the permanent job leads I have - in fact, all of them - will necessarily not be starting until summer, either because of work permit issues or because the program doesn't start until then anyway or both. Once I do nail an offer down (and I'm guardedly optimistic that will happen pretty soon, as I have at least six possibilities of varying degrees), I'm thinking I might look for a short-term teaching gig somewhere to pass the time. But there are still a couple of internship possibilities that could start sooner, so I can't even plan for any interim activities just yet. Since my coursework still isn't quite done, perhaps that's for the best!
Of course I'm pretty happy about that outcome, but I'm still wondering why they were recruiting here if they're not actually hiring here. Odd. Of course, since the deadline for the traineeship program has come and gone without me ever even hearing of it but I got my resume to them anyhow, I have no complaints. Just trying to figure it all out is all.
Still no word on just what I'll be up to right after Christmas, by the way. Most of the permanent job leads I have - in fact, all of them - will necessarily not be starting until summer, either because of work permit issues or because the program doesn't start until then anyway or both. Once I do nail an offer down (and I'm guardedly optimistic that will happen pretty soon, as I have at least six possibilities of varying degrees), I'm thinking I might look for a short-term teaching gig somewhere to pass the time. But there are still a couple of internship possibilities that could start sooner, so I can't even plan for any interim activities just yet. Since my coursework still isn't quite done, perhaps that's for the best!
Sunday, December 2, 2007
I shouldn't be happy about it, but...
I went to a job fair in Brussels on Friday. For a city I didn't really like very much previously, it went quite well. I had four pretty solid job interviews and I'm feeling a lot more optimistic than I was last week.
But the most memorable episode of the day was not a job interview. It was a conversation with a guy I met in line for lunch. He was a student at HEC's bitter rival, INSEAD. When he introduced himself as such, I said - jokingly of course - "Ah, so we're supposed to hate each other, huh?" He appeared to agree.
It's hard to overstate the sense of rivalry between HEC and INSEAD. The vaunted Yale/Harvard rivalry has nothing on it. In fact, all the previous rivalries I've witnessed, from Yale/Harvard back to Grinnell/Carleton and all the way back to Robinson/Lake Braddock - all of them combined don't pack the barely concealed resentment of HEC vs. INSEAD. They're bigger than we are, and probably better known in most parts of the world, and since they're bigger, they have much larger applicant pools and many more rejected applicants. We, however, have a slightly lower acceptance rate, something many of us are quite proud of.
For my part, I've made good use of my experience with the two universities when people ask me in job interviews why I came to HEC (and they almost always do ask). I explain that I wanted more overseas experience and was especially interested in France because I wanted to brush up on my French, so I applied to both of them. I got to the interview stage with both, and got along famously with all the HEC alums I met. Not so the INSEAD alums, who were more than a little bit snobby and aloof and devoid of reasons to go to their school other than the chance to get rich. (One of them insisted that I rent a car and drive three hours - Denver to Aspen - to meet her at her home for the interview...and then forgot all about it. She happened to come home while I was there waiting for her, but I could very easily have been out the cost of the rental and the seven hours or so the trip involved in all.) In the end I didn't get into INSEAD anyway, but I had already decided on HEC regardless. Of course I tell the story more diplomatically than that in interviews; but when I'm speaking diplomatically about why I chose HEC, the above is what I'm really thinking.
Given all that, why would we HECers waste our time and energy on the rivalry? Because we have a rather naive impression that it's much easier to find a job if you go to INSEAD. It's understandable that one would think as much, for they are far more likely to get recruiting visits on campus from the most prestigious banks, consulting firms, and such. Of course, I've always suspected there was an element of "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence" to all this. In Brussels on Friday, I learned that is correct. The guy I met there (with whom I got along just fine in spite of all of the above!) explained that, yes, they do get a lot of campus visits and job offers. The problem is, every single person on campus applies for all those jobs - and remember, there are a lot more students there. I imagine the rivalry among the students is pretty fierce.
Whatever I didn't like about HEC (and as most of you know, I do have my issues with the place), it does not inspire any sort of rivalry among peers, nor did we all ever feel like we were fighting for a piece of the same pie. It's nice to know the smaller fish in the pond have advantages too. Of course, I really shouldn't have needed to have as much spelled out for me. But such is the mentality that goes with job searches.
But the most memorable episode of the day was not a job interview. It was a conversation with a guy I met in line for lunch. He was a student at HEC's bitter rival, INSEAD. When he introduced himself as such, I said - jokingly of course - "Ah, so we're supposed to hate each other, huh?" He appeared to agree.
It's hard to overstate the sense of rivalry between HEC and INSEAD. The vaunted Yale/Harvard rivalry has nothing on it. In fact, all the previous rivalries I've witnessed, from Yale/Harvard back to Grinnell/Carleton and all the way back to Robinson/Lake Braddock - all of them combined don't pack the barely concealed resentment of HEC vs. INSEAD. They're bigger than we are, and probably better known in most parts of the world, and since they're bigger, they have much larger applicant pools and many more rejected applicants. We, however, have a slightly lower acceptance rate, something many of us are quite proud of.
For my part, I've made good use of my experience with the two universities when people ask me in job interviews why I came to HEC (and they almost always do ask). I explain that I wanted more overseas experience and was especially interested in France because I wanted to brush up on my French, so I applied to both of them. I got to the interview stage with both, and got along famously with all the HEC alums I met. Not so the INSEAD alums, who were more than a little bit snobby and aloof and devoid of reasons to go to their school other than the chance to get rich. (One of them insisted that I rent a car and drive three hours - Denver to Aspen - to meet her at her home for the interview...and then forgot all about it. She happened to come home while I was there waiting for her, but I could very easily have been out the cost of the rental and the seven hours or so the trip involved in all.) In the end I didn't get into INSEAD anyway, but I had already decided on HEC regardless. Of course I tell the story more diplomatically than that in interviews; but when I'm speaking diplomatically about why I chose HEC, the above is what I'm really thinking.
Given all that, why would we HECers waste our time and energy on the rivalry? Because we have a rather naive impression that it's much easier to find a job if you go to INSEAD. It's understandable that one would think as much, for they are far more likely to get recruiting visits on campus from the most prestigious banks, consulting firms, and such. Of course, I've always suspected there was an element of "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence" to all this. In Brussels on Friday, I learned that is correct. The guy I met there (with whom I got along just fine in spite of all of the above!) explained that, yes, they do get a lot of campus visits and job offers. The problem is, every single person on campus applies for all those jobs - and remember, there are a lot more students there. I imagine the rivalry among the students is pretty fierce.
Whatever I didn't like about HEC (and as most of you know, I do have my issues with the place), it does not inspire any sort of rivalry among peers, nor did we all ever feel like we were fighting for a piece of the same pie. It's nice to know the smaller fish in the pond have advantages too. Of course, I really shouldn't have needed to have as much spelled out for me. But such is the mentality that goes with job searches.
Monday, November 26, 2007
Another hero leaves the building...
Indiana Rep. Julia Carson, a six-term Democrat from the Indianapolis-based 7th District, has revealed that she is dying of lung cancer.
I know I have to give it a rest with all the depressing blog-posts here, but I can't let this one go without comment. Julia Carson is one of my favorite members. You know all that lip service Republicans like to give to the American Dream and pulling yourself up by the bootstraps to success? She is one of the very few people I know of who really did it, overcoming racism as well as poverty and working her way off welfare a couple of times in her life. Despite being elected from one of the more conservative big cities, Indianapolis, she has an unapologetically liberal record that has not stopped her from winning re-election five times. (Neither has the fact that she's black in a 63% white district.) We could definitely use a few more of those on the Democratic side of the aisle - but it looks like for now there will be one less.
My own stint working on Capitol Hill began with her first term, and I remember that she was struggling with health problems even back then. A decade later, that has never really changed, so this news doesn't come as too much of a surprise, I concede. Still an awful loss.
I know I have to give it a rest with all the depressing blog-posts here, but I can't let this one go without comment. Julia Carson is one of my favorite members. You know all that lip service Republicans like to give to the American Dream and pulling yourself up by the bootstraps to success? She is one of the very few people I know of who really did it, overcoming racism as well as poverty and working her way off welfare a couple of times in her life. Despite being elected from one of the more conservative big cities, Indianapolis, she has an unapologetically liberal record that has not stopped her from winning re-election five times. (Neither has the fact that she's black in a 63% white district.) We could definitely use a few more of those on the Democratic side of the aisle - but it looks like for now there will be one less.
My own stint working on Capitol Hill began with her first term, and I remember that she was struggling with health problems even back then. A decade later, that has never really changed, so this news doesn't come as too much of a surprise, I concede. Still an awful loss.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
People: Give thanks for individuals, not stereotypes!
While catching up on feministing.com (which I've been meaning to add to my links list - it's a great site) this afternoon, I saw they deliver a well-deserved smackdown to this little piece of tripe from match.com. (For good measure, they also provide an equally dumb list with the genders reversed.
Now, let me get the sappy disclaimer out of the way upfront. This Thanksgiving, I do indeed give thanks for all my friends out there, men and women alike (I'm pretty sure there aren't any in-betweens, but if there are, you too!). As I continue to work my way through an extremely stressful and uncertain time in my life and most of you are a long way from my current abode in Luxembourg, you're on my mind and it's good to know you're all out there. I look forward to happier times with you once things are back on track for me (and for my fellow HEC-ers who are also job-hunting, for you too). As for romantic partners, I've made no secret that I had a big disappointment in that department recently, but I've also come to realize that now would have been a terrible time for me to start a relationship anyhow. I have always been a strong believer in being friends-first with someone I'm interested in, and hey, I've got lots of friends!
But now, back to those match.com lists. They're just the sort of thing that used to make me really angry, but not so much anymore. I still despise gender stereotypes as much as I ever did, of course, but I now find that they're so dumb they're not worth getting upset about.
Besides, it's much more fun to take a close look at these things and pick apart just how ridiculous they really are. Here, then, is my perspective on it all...
What about the girl who dumped you because you were ready to settle down? Eight years later, I'm guessing she's still out sowing her wild oats and not grooming anybody for anything. But that's okay with me. Telling me I need to be "groomed" isn't.
Too many examples to even bother with here of men I know who have been sympathetic and women who haven't. I do want to say, though, that I know women who get just as frustrated as men would if you offer only sympathy.
It doesn't. At least my women friends don't. They do like it when I pay them compliments, but I tend to think they'd stop believing me if I did it all the time. Just guessing.
I don't think any of my exes would have appreciated being called "soft," somehow.
Seems to me I know quite a few women who do like to sit home and watch TV a lot of the time. I know because I've dated some of them.
Anecdotes abound about past experiences where trying to communicate with women did me no good at all...but I will agree that it's a good thing when it does happen.
A common retort against a certain kind of man...who, not coincidentally, is the same kind of man who is likely to be receptive to nonsense like this! Okay, maybe sometimes these lists have some validity after all.
Show me a woman who thinks only women do that, and I'll show you a woman who has lousy taste in men!
I prefer to be thankful for people who don't feel entitled to tear my #%$^ing anything off if I disagree with them. Come to think of it, one of my most memorable breakups was due to exactly that issue.
So it's all about whether or not I want them someday? Is there any interpretation of that one that isn't offensive? Hmmm...nope.
No, of course I won't let the men's list off the hook either...
Well, okay, I don't mind squashing bugs. But I don't exactly like the idea that the job ought to be left up to me because I'm a man either. And yes, I have run into that on occasion. I've had a couple of jobs along the way in which I'm the only man among a dozen or so women. It has its ups (like losing my ability to blush over much of anything feminine) and its downs (like being expected to get rid of bugs).
Okay, most of the stuff on these lists is too dumb to be offensive, but this one is rather offensive. 'Nuff said.
Have any of you guys out there ever had a girlfriend or wife actually ask you if this outfit makes her look fat? I've only ever heard it as a joke. (Admittedly, I've had three serious girlfriends in my life and all three of them really were overweight and very much aware of it...but still, I think it's one of those things nobody ever really says.)
Okay, I'll concede this one, I guess.
If that were true, all my exes would be vinyl junkies with the cheapest cell-phone and computer they could find.
1. When I've been to see a horror movie with a woman, it was usually her choice. (I still have to laugh when I think of the time Sarah and I arrived at a group movie-night with Independence Day and Before Sunrise - you could tell exactly how well the other people there knew us by how long it took them to figure out who had picked out which movie. The answer isn't what you think, if you don't know me.
2. Of course we care about you, but some of us also care about knowing you're a big girl and can set a mousetrap yourself.
This brings to mind an ex of mine who almost had a nervous breakdown once because she forgot to bring her pajamas to my place for the weekend and had to settle for an old t-shirt of mine. It certainly wasn't too comfortable to her. (Anybody who knows me knows exactly which ex it was, too...)
I do like to think - just maybe - my jokes are a bit above the level of a three year old. Just maybe.
I can't think of a single woman I've ever dated who would be satisfied with that response, even in cases when it was true. If I had to guess, I'd say that response would probably bring accusations that I wasn't listening to her. And if I felt compelled to make such a generic comment, that would probably be true!
Without discussing things that shouldn't be discussed in public, I'll just say this isn't true in my own experience and leave it at that. But then again, I haven't dated very much lately. I will say I've had some ego-destroying experiences with asking people out (the most memorable one was a gal who said she was too busy to go to the movies...then said yes to another guy five minutes later while I was standing right there), but who hasn't?
Happy late Thanksgiving, everyone. Hope those of you who have partners and families had a nice time with them, and that those of you who are on your own didn't let the togetherness motif get you down. Just remember, life is not a Hallmark commercial. Fortunately, it isn't a list of inanities about the other sex either.
Now, let me get the sappy disclaimer out of the way upfront. This Thanksgiving, I do indeed give thanks for all my friends out there, men and women alike (I'm pretty sure there aren't any in-betweens, but if there are, you too!). As I continue to work my way through an extremely stressful and uncertain time in my life and most of you are a long way from my current abode in Luxembourg, you're on my mind and it's good to know you're all out there. I look forward to happier times with you once things are back on track for me (and for my fellow HEC-ers who are also job-hunting, for you too). As for romantic partners, I've made no secret that I had a big disappointment in that department recently, but I've also come to realize that now would have been a terrible time for me to start a relationship anyhow. I have always been a strong believer in being friends-first with someone I'm interested in, and hey, I've got lots of friends!
But now, back to those match.com lists. They're just the sort of thing that used to make me really angry, but not so much anymore. I still despise gender stereotypes as much as I ever did, of course, but I now find that they're so dumb they're not worth getting upset about.
Besides, it's much more fun to take a close look at these things and pick apart just how ridiculous they really are. Here, then, is my perspective on it all...
1. Like it or not, we groom you for a real relationship
Whether it’s the mom who taught you to respect us, the sister who told you our secrets, or even the last girl who dumped you because you weren't ready to settle down, the women in your life help to shape you into the best man you can possibly be. So that when you meet The One, you’ll be ready, willing and able.
What about the girl who dumped you because you were ready to settle down? Eight years later, I'm guessing she's still out sowing her wild oats and not grooming anybody for anything. But that's okay with me. Telling me I need to be "groomed" isn't.
2. We’re sympathetic
Too many examples to even bother with here of men I know who have been sympathetic and women who haven't. I do want to say, though, that I know women who get just as frustrated as men would if you offer only sympathy.
3. We’re extraordinary ego-boosters
If it seems as though women are forever fishing for compliments...
It doesn't. At least my women friends don't. They do like it when I pay them compliments, but I tend to think they'd stop believing me if I did it all the time. Just guessing.
4. We’re soft
Soft hair, soft lips, soft skin… and so forth. All in all, it’s a pretty huggable package.
I don't think any of my exes would have appreciated being called "soft," somehow.
5. We keep your social life hopping
Before there were Palm Pilots, there were women. We organize, we schedule, we remember. Admit it—you get out a whole lot more and have a more interesting life when you’re dating someone who wants to do something besides sit home and watch TV all the time.
Seems to me I know quite a few women who do like to sit home and watch TV a lot of the time. I know because I've dated some of them.
6. We listen
The stereotype of woman as chatterbox is unfair. OK, scratch that—we do love to talk. But not in a vacuum. That’s why we’re always urging you to talk; we believe in communication and that means we want to listen, too. Go ahead, open up—tell us what you were like as a little kid and how you plan to save the world.
Anecdotes abound about past experiences where trying to communicate with women did me no good at all...but I will agree that it's a good thing when it does happen.
7. We have a civilizing influence
A common retort against a certain kind of man...who, not coincidentally, is the same kind of man who is likely to be receptive to nonsense like this! Okay, maybe sometimes these lists have some validity after all.
8. We inspire you to shoot for gold
Show me a woman who thinks only women do that, and I'll show you a woman who has lousy taste in men!
9. We make worthy opponents
Yeah, yeah, we’re soft and sweet most of the time. But engage us in battle, and we will tear your #%$^ing head off. So be thankful — be very, very thankful — that we like you right now.
I prefer to be thankful for people who don't feel entitled to tear my #%$^ing anything off if I disagree with them. Come to think of it, one of my most memorable breakups was due to exactly that issue.
10. If you want kids someday, we’re usually willing to have them
And the labor pains. And the stretch marks. And in between, the periods. You’re welcome.
So it's all about whether or not I want them someday? Is there any interpretation of that one that isn't offensive? Hmmm...nope.
No, of course I won't let the men's list off the hook either...
1. We do gross things you don’t want to do
Well, okay, I don't mind squashing bugs. But I don't exactly like the idea that the job ought to be left up to me because I'm a man either. And yes, I have run into that on occasion. I've had a couple of jobs along the way in which I'm the only man among a dozen or so women. It has its ups (like losing my ability to blush over much of anything feminine) and its downs (like being expected to get rid of bugs).
2. Our constant desire to have sex with you has got to be good for your ego
Okay, most of the stuff on these lists is too dumb to be offensive, but this one is rather offensive. 'Nuff said.
3. We’ll never tell you that you look fat in those jeans
No matter how many times you ask or what size they are, the answer will always be unilaterally, unequivocally NO.
Have any of you guys out there ever had a girlfriend or wife actually ask you if this outfit makes her look fat? I've only ever heard it as a joke. (Admittedly, I've had three serious girlfriends in my life and all three of them really were overweight and very much aware of it...but still, I think it's one of those things nobody ever really says.)
4. We’re easy to please
Fancy dinners? Pricey presents? Save your dough. To bring a big smile to your fella’s face, follow this simple equation: One beer + one couch = happy man.
Okay, I'll concede this one, I guess.
5. We keep you up to date on all the latest gadgets
You don’t want a TV set bigger than your dining-room table? Fine, but we’ll let you know when your computer is hopelessly outdated and which new cell phone doubles as an MP3, takes pictures, and reminds you to call your mom on her birthday all at the same time. It’s like having your own personal electronics consultant—for free!
If that were true, all my exes would be vinyl junkies with the cheapest cell-phone and computer they could find.
6. You can squeeze our arms as hard as you like during the scary parts of movies
And aside from making great stress squeeze balls at the multiplex, we’re also good to call in the middle of the night when you think you hear some gigantic mouse sneaking around downstairs. No man will say no to a late-night trip to your place because (a) We care about you and want to make sure you’re OK and (b) The potential for sex is way too high to pass up.
1. When I've been to see a horror movie with a woman, it was usually her choice. (I still have to laugh when I think of the time Sarah and I arrived at a group movie-night with Independence Day and Before Sunrise - you could tell exactly how well the other people there knew us by how long it took them to figure out who had picked out which movie. The answer isn't what you think, if you don't know me.
2. Of course we care about you, but some of us also care about knowing you're a big girl and can set a mousetrap yourself.
7. Our old college T-shirts are the most comfortable pajamas in the universe
This brings to mind an ex of mine who almost had a nervous breakdown once because she forgot to bring her pajamas to my place for the weekend and had to settle for an old t-shirt of mine. It certainly wasn't too comfortable to her. (Anybody who knows me knows exactly which ex it was, too...)
8. We make you laugh your butt off
Sometimes, being an overgrown three-year-old has its benefits, like all the weird website links we forward you to break up your boring day at work.
I do like to think - just maybe - my jokes are a bit above the level of a three year old. Just maybe.
9. Whenever you’re upset about work, our response is always, “Your boss is an f-ing idiot.”
I can't think of a single woman I've ever dated who would be satisfied with that response, even in cases when it was true. If I had to guess, I'd say that response would probably bring accusations that I wasn't listening to her. And if I felt compelled to make such a generic comment, that would probably be true!
10. We nearly always make the first move
Asking someone out, leaning in for that first kiss—all instances that can result in ego-destroying rejection. But even the meekest of men are willing to take the risk when a beauty like you steps into our lives. So sit back and enjoy watching us tremble.
Without discussing things that shouldn't be discussed in public, I'll just say this isn't true in my own experience and leave it at that. But then again, I haven't dated very much lately. I will say I've had some ego-destroying experiences with asking people out (the most memorable one was a gal who said she was too busy to go to the movies...then said yes to another guy five minutes later while I was standing right there), but who hasn't?
Happy late Thanksgiving, everyone. Hope those of you who have partners and families had a nice time with them, and that those of you who are on your own didn't let the togetherness motif get you down. Just remember, life is not a Hallmark commercial. Fortunately, it isn't a list of inanities about the other sex either.
Hey, what is that thing up there?
The sun was out today. After the past month or so, that's worth noting! A welcome reprieve, I must say.
As for more substantial news, the job search is still going okay. I have two job-fairs coming up in the next week, and all but one of the jobs I interviewed for two weeks ago are still up in the air. (I did get a "no" on one, but it was the least interesting of the bunch anyway...not that I'd have minded having a fallback option! But still.) I've been reminding myself constantly that the pace is no slower than it ever is with job searches. It's a depressing process by nature, but this too shall pass.
Now, can I keep that positive attitude if the clouds come out again tomorrow? Stay tuned.
As for more substantial news, the job search is still going okay. I have two job-fairs coming up in the next week, and all but one of the jobs I interviewed for two weeks ago are still up in the air. (I did get a "no" on one, but it was the least interesting of the bunch anyway...not that I'd have minded having a fallback option! But still.) I've been reminding myself constantly that the pace is no slower than it ever is with job searches. It's a depressing process by nature, but this too shall pass.
Now, can I keep that positive attitude if the clouds come out again tomorrow? Stay tuned.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Great week. Now what?
As my life continues to come back together, slowly but surely, the afterglow of that batch of great interviews has me pondering what comes next. It was a good start, that's for sure. But all I can do about those leads now is wait, which is a bit frustrating after the wonderfully busy week I just had. I can, of course, continue to look for other opportunities, and I will. There are also two more job fairs coming up at the end of the month, one of which was invite-only - and I have been invited. All very promising.
Still, after a mostly wonderful week back in Paris, I am now remembering that I do need to look elsewhere as well. There's even the slight chance I might stay in Luxembourg, as there does seem to be plenty of work available here. I was scared out of looking here for a while, thanks to an egregiously nasty remark from an HR rep here about hiring non-EU workers. (I am a bit wary about repeating anything too specific from that place, but if you're curious, e-mail me and I'll share it.) Now that I've done a bit of searching, I see that work permits are not all that far out of reach. I'm also thinking of going for what you might call a "job search visa" in a couple of different locales elsewhere if I don't get a solid offer first.
So many choices, huh? I guess I should stop thinking of that as a bad thing. It's just that I could use a bit more stability just now. But that will be here soon enough!
Still, after a mostly wonderful week back in Paris, I am now remembering that I do need to look elsewhere as well. There's even the slight chance I might stay in Luxembourg, as there does seem to be plenty of work available here. I was scared out of looking here for a while, thanks to an egregiously nasty remark from an HR rep here about hiring non-EU workers. (I am a bit wary about repeating anything too specific from that place, but if you're curious, e-mail me and I'll share it.) Now that I've done a bit of searching, I see that work permits are not all that far out of reach. I'm also thinking of going for what you might call a "job search visa" in a couple of different locales elsewhere if I don't get a solid offer first.
So many choices, huh? I guess I should stop thinking of that as a bad thing. It's just that I could use a bit more stability just now. But that will be here soon enough!
Open Letter to the Workers of SNCF
Chers messieurs/dames:
Look, nobody is more pro-union than I am. Any of my friends will tell you that. So too, for that matter, will a number of ex-friends for whom I lost all respect when they showed their true colors on looking out for anyone but themselves. I did my own fair share of organizing in my time, and was both praised and vilified for it. I was called a whiner, a bleeding-heart and worse. On one occasion, a guy I had once considered a friend called me a liar in an e-mail he CC’d to the entire Yale international relations community. All totally worth it, and I’m damn proud to have been on your side then and now. John Prine said it best: "I’d rather have names thrown at me, than to fight for a thing that ain’t right." I hope you get your living wages and better working conditions and all that you’re fighting for, really.
That said, mes amis, what on earth do you think you’re going to prove by having no service at all to much of the Ile de France for days at a time? Do you think it’s going to make a centime’s worth of difference to the people who will actually make the decisions regarding your demands? They aren’t going to be stranded out in the suburbs, facing the prospect of eating the cost of their TGV tickets because they can’t get to Gare de L’Est. They have cars. The biggest of the bigwigs probably also have chauffeurs, if it comes to that. It’s no skin off their noses if those of us who actually ride the trains can’t do so.
I wouldn’t complain much about reduced service, like during the last strike. Then, I was still able to get where I needed to go. It took a little longer, but I didn’t really mind given the cause, and you were still able to drive your point home. Speaking of driving, you know who really loves you right now, don’t you? Taxi drivers. Seeing as there’s no other way for many of us to get into Paris, they’re cleaning up. Of course, the one I drew tried to dupe me into believing there was no train service anywhere and I’d have to use his services to get into Paris, to the tune of 40 euros or so. I wasn’t fooled and I got to Velizy in plenty of time to catch the one train on the C line that was still running, but still, not cool!
And neither is neglecting us out in the farther reaches of your network. You don’t want to lose the sympathy of your customers, do you? And trust me, if a union loses my respect, it probably isn’t going to keep anybody’s!
Yours in struggle,
A frequent client who is glad as a clown that he won’t be going back to Paris for two weeks.
Look, nobody is more pro-union than I am. Any of my friends will tell you that. So too, for that matter, will a number of ex-friends for whom I lost all respect when they showed their true colors on looking out for anyone but themselves. I did my own fair share of organizing in my time, and was both praised and vilified for it. I was called a whiner, a bleeding-heart and worse. On one occasion, a guy I had once considered a friend called me a liar in an e-mail he CC’d to the entire Yale international relations community. All totally worth it, and I’m damn proud to have been on your side then and now. John Prine said it best: "I’d rather have names thrown at me, than to fight for a thing that ain’t right." I hope you get your living wages and better working conditions and all that you’re fighting for, really.
That said, mes amis, what on earth do you think you’re going to prove by having no service at all to much of the Ile de France for days at a time? Do you think it’s going to make a centime’s worth of difference to the people who will actually make the decisions regarding your demands? They aren’t going to be stranded out in the suburbs, facing the prospect of eating the cost of their TGV tickets because they can’t get to Gare de L’Est. They have cars. The biggest of the bigwigs probably also have chauffeurs, if it comes to that. It’s no skin off their noses if those of us who actually ride the trains can’t do so.
I wouldn’t complain much about reduced service, like during the last strike. Then, I was still able to get where I needed to go. It took a little longer, but I didn’t really mind given the cause, and you were still able to drive your point home. Speaking of driving, you know who really loves you right now, don’t you? Taxi drivers. Seeing as there’s no other way for many of us to get into Paris, they’re cleaning up. Of course, the one I drew tried to dupe me into believing there was no train service anywhere and I’d have to use his services to get into Paris, to the tune of 40 euros or so. I wasn’t fooled and I got to Velizy in plenty of time to catch the one train on the C line that was still running, but still, not cool!
And neither is neglecting us out in the farther reaches of your network. You don’t want to lose the sympathy of your customers, do you? And trust me, if a union loses my respect, it probably isn’t going to keep anybody’s!
Yours in struggle,
A frequent client who is glad as a clown that he won’t be going back to Paris for two weeks.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
On a much brighter note...
All the good job search news in the world wouldn't be much consolation if I didn't pass that last class. Having just gotten the midterm back, I can now report so far, so good. I've never been so happy to see a C+ in my life - well above the curve, that.
Friday, November 16, 2007
Wrote a song for everyone, but I couldn't even talk to you
I’ve found that sometimes words can serve you well,
But sometimes words can go to hell
For all that they do
-Harry Chapin, “Story of a Life”
I’ve been thinking lately about that great Hollywood standby, the Super-Dramatic Heartfelt Speech that saves the day. Political junkies like me dream about such moments in real life, in which a leader throws caution and focus groups to the wind and says what’s really on his or her mind, i.e. Hugh Grant in Love Actually or Michael Douglas in The American President, or for that matter Ralph Wiggum as George Washington in my favorite Simpsons episode. (Remember The Mediocre Presidents? Just think of what the 23rd century’s Matt Groening will have to say about George W.M.D. Bush!). Did you ever notice, though, that they are always moved to their moment of eloquence only because they’ve lost the girl, or at least they think they have? Misery breeds creativity, it appears. Draw your own conclusions!
Yes, of course, I arrived at that rather obvious realization through rather unpleasant personal experiences that I am now going to whine about on the Internet. Hey, you know me.
Those job interviews I was so looking forward to in the last post? I nailed ‘em. Well, one of them didn’t go so well, but four out of five is nothing to be ashamed of. Yes, I picked up a fifth interview at the last minute – it was quite a week. Of the five, there was one in particular that was of more interest to me than the others, and that was perhaps the best of the bunch. (Friday morning, I got an e-mail from that company saying I passed the interview and will be considered for the next stage of the process!) Right to the bitter end, I wasn’t sure just how I was going to approach some of the subject matter at hand, much less how I was going to do it in French. But practice makes perfect, and sometimes so does agonizing about it down to the last moment, and sometimes so does a long weekend in Paris. But then again, what is a long weekend in Paris not going to fix? I’m not saying I expect to get offered every job for which I interviewed, but I do know when I botched an interview, and this time there wasn’t a complete dud in the bunch. I was hot.
Not so elsewhere. It’s funny how articulate you can be with something that is ultimately only mildly important (sure I care about how I’m going to pay next year’s rent, but a person should not be his or her job) and yet you can be perfectly hopeless at the very same time about the things that really matter in life. If I understood why, well, I wouldn’t have talked my way into Capitol Hill and Yale and teaching in Taiwan (without any experience in teaching English or speaking Chinese) and business school (with extremely little private sector experience)...and still be single at age 34.
Of course, part of my problem there is a rather naïve belief that romantic dilemmas can be solved through some clever oratory. That’s strictly for Hollywood. In real life, you feel love or you don’t, and all the eloquence in the world won’t help you with someone who is smitten with someone else. I’ve been in that position before, actually – where a truly nice gal had a crush on me, but I only had eyes for another, never mind that she couldn’t have cared less about me and was spoken for in any case. That was quite a while ago, but lately I’ve been recalling all too clearly how it didn’t matter how many wonderful things Barb said or wrote (and she did plenty of both) or how many nasty or selfish things Allison did to me (and she did plenty of both), love was blind.
It still is, as I have been very painfully aware in the past few weeks while playing the role of the nice guy. Hopeless romantic that I am, I held out for a happy ending quite a bit longer than I should have. But to no avail. That’s what happens when someone like me falls for another hopeless romantic, I suppose. Sensibility doesn’t stand a chance, and sometimes neither does integrity. One can pontificate to his or her heart’s desire about true love and caring and commitment and friends first and such, but there’s a reason why all those things are love song clichés. And baby, sometimes love just ain’t enough. But hey, it’s only words, and words are all I have, to...well, to console myself that I’ve been through worse before and this too shall pass.
At least now it’s all over. No more false hope, and no more distractions as I concentrate on where my life is going next. I always have put my career first in the past anyway, and this is no time to change that. Some of us really are just better off on our own in this world, and I’ve known for years that I’m one of them. For a few weeks there, I forgot that. Which means, as a very wise man once sang, it’s my own damn fault.
Monday, November 12, 2007
When it rains, it pours
Literally and figuratively, and it's about time.
I'm spending the next week or so in Paris, both for class and for job interviews. That's right, interviews, plural. Four of them. All that angst of the past few weeks paid off handsomely, who would've seen that coming? And all at once to boot. I just hope I can keep up the momentum now that a bit of good news has come my way. It's embarrassing to admit I have ever fallen into the trap of taking the first job offer I get, but I did so as recently as last spring and I'd hate to make the same mistake again already. Besides, I haven't actually been offered a job yet, just an interview. Or rather, four interviews - I do like the sound of that, as you can see.
Some of my friends are probably thinking I always sell myself short on these things. Maybe they're right. Let's leave it at that for now!
The weather wasn't any less gloomy for much of the weekend (although the sun is out now that it's Monday - go figure!), but something about Paris just looks right in gray weather. I can't explain it, but if you've been here, you probably know just what I mean. With class out for the weekend and the interviews starting Monday, the weekend was good for just hanging around those slick streets doing and thinking whatever came to mind. It turns out that Billy Joel was right and soaking in the European rain isn't half bad if you're in the right mood for it. It hit me last night just as the sun was probably going down - but one couldn't tell for certain with all the clouds - that whatever else is not going so well in my life, there I was wandering up and down the Champs-Elysees with all the time in the world to window-shop to my heart's content. I think that sort of thing takes away a person's right to complain for the time being, at least.
I'll keep the finer details of the interviews to myself for now, as you never know who will read your blog. Suffice to say there are some great opportunities that might be opening up soon. It's a relief to have that to look forward to.
I'm spending the next week or so in Paris, both for class and for job interviews. That's right, interviews, plural. Four of them. All that angst of the past few weeks paid off handsomely, who would've seen that coming? And all at once to boot. I just hope I can keep up the momentum now that a bit of good news has come my way. It's embarrassing to admit I have ever fallen into the trap of taking the first job offer I get, but I did so as recently as last spring and I'd hate to make the same mistake again already. Besides, I haven't actually been offered a job yet, just an interview. Or rather, four interviews - I do like the sound of that, as you can see.
Some of my friends are probably thinking I always sell myself short on these things. Maybe they're right. Let's leave it at that for now!
The weather wasn't any less gloomy for much of the weekend (although the sun is out now that it's Monday - go figure!), but something about Paris just looks right in gray weather. I can't explain it, but if you've been here, you probably know just what I mean. With class out for the weekend and the interviews starting Monday, the weekend was good for just hanging around those slick streets doing and thinking whatever came to mind. It turns out that Billy Joel was right and soaking in the European rain isn't half bad if you're in the right mood for it. It hit me last night just as the sun was probably going down - but one couldn't tell for certain with all the clouds - that whatever else is not going so well in my life, there I was wandering up and down the Champs-Elysees with all the time in the world to window-shop to my heart's content. I think that sort of thing takes away a person's right to complain for the time being, at least.
I'll keep the finer details of the interviews to myself for now, as you never know who will read your blog. Suffice to say there are some great opportunities that might be opening up soon. It's a relief to have that to look forward to.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
It can only get better from here
Having weathered a string of frustrations and depressing news since the last post, I just wanted to drop in to say there might not be any more news here for a while. There's lots I could say about my current situation, but I don't care to whine about it in public. I'd rather hold off until things get better and there is good news to share. The way things are going, I'd say that pretty much has to happen pretty soon. At least I need to believe that for the moment.
Not everything is bad just now. I did take the midterm exam of that last class yesterday, and I think I passed (in a class where failing isn't unusual at all). I have also sent out a bunch of job and internship applications and have only gotten a few rejections, so I figure some of the others must be under serious consideration. But even there, it's just speculation about good news at the moment. I'll pass on any real good news as soon as I get it.
Not everything is bad just now. I did take the midterm exam of that last class yesterday, and I think I passed (in a class where failing isn't unusual at all). I have also sent out a bunch of job and internship applications and have only gotten a few rejections, so I figure some of the others must be under serious consideration. But even there, it's just speculation about good news at the moment. I'll pass on any real good news as soon as I get it.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Caught the early plane back to London...
"Early" being 6:30 in the evening, and it ended up taking off later than that. But if I wanted to fly out of Luxembourg, it was either that or wait until quite late. I wanted to get at least a bit of sleep before the interview, which was a further train ride out in the suburbs.
The Luxembourg airport is a lot like the country in general: small, but very convenient. It's just a short bus ride out of the city (of course, I was starting from work, which is already a ways out of the city center), no overpriced shuttles necessary. Love it! The terminal itself is rather drab, perhaps because it was under construction at the time and perhaps because, well, it is fall in Northern Europe. Airports are almost always either terrifically exhilarating or rather depressing for me. This time around, it was the latter, even though I had a solid lead on a gig in a country I love. I'm not really sure why, probably just that I was rather tired. Plus, I'm not crazy about spending yet more money on travel when this job is only a maybe. Of course, it wouldn't even be a maybe if I didn't go.
In any case, flying Luxair proved to be agreeable enough. Since I love to fly for the most part, an airline has to do something pretty horrible to get a clear thumbs-down from me, but it also has to be especially great for me to bother with a thumbs-up. Luxair got neither. It was good, not spectacular but good enough. My only complaint is that it was a small plane and we were all awfully cramped in there. No big deal on a nice short flight.
In my experience, the UK is the most tedious country for getting into. But that's not saying too much - I've never had a real horror story to pass on. It went the same way this time: the guard asked me what I was there for and for how long, and stamped my passport without demanding a return ticket or anything (which is good, as I didn't have one - more on that later). More interestingly, no one asked me for my carte de sejour, despite all the dire warnings against leaving the continent without it. I did have it with me, but as it expires next week and I'm expecting the new one to take a couple of months, I wanted to see if I could get out and back in without one. I can, evidently.
The interview went well, but I won't comment on it for now because the outcome is still up in the air. Suffice to say I'll be pleased if I get the internship, and I'm seasoned enough at this point to know I might not. Somewhat more interesting is the dinner I treated myself to the night before, at an Italian place in London. I must have really looked exhausted, because at least two waitresses asked me if I was feeling okay or if there was a problem with the food, or something. I assured them that I was just tired, and let them believe I was dealing with a five-hour jetlag instead of a one-hour one. Since I was tired, I didn't get to stick to my usual practice of visiting a cozy London pub after dinner, but comforted myself with the thought that I can do that every weekend if I get the internship. Not that I would, but I could!
Next it was on to Paris, for class and for a job fair at HEC. I was beginning to worry I'd never have an excuse to take my beloved Eurostar again, and it seems this will indeed be my last ever trip out of Waterloo Station, because they're changing it in a couple of weeks. (For those of you who don't know Waterloo, if you've seen The Bourne Ultimatum, it's where that journalist is murdered. It often is crowded enough that you could almost believe that could happen. Relax, I said almost.) In any case, I got into Paris just in time to catch the last train out to Jouy, which was indeed to be the last train for a few days thanks to a strike. I'll bet some of my old anti-unionization pals from Yale would find that absolutely hilarious. Hey, it's okay with me, I had to stay in Jouy for a couple of days anyhow!
The job fair was...yes, the job fair was. Actually it wasn't too bad; I did get a couple of pretty solid leads. As with the internship interview, I won't comment further for now, except to say that I left feeling more optimistic than I was when I came in. Some of the reps I talked to were pretty discouraging, with their statistics about how many applications they got per space available, but it's just as well that we're aware of the big picture, I guess. One of my buddies told me that a rep had been honest enough to tell him he shouldn't bother applying for a particular job for some reason or other. There's a lot to be said for that - think of the time you won't spend waiting to hear back on that application. It's still a step I'll be very happy to have behind me, but it must be done, and I did it.
Next thing I knew, I'd been on the road for nearly a week - someday I will miss that, I reminded myself as I stood there sleepily at the Jouy train station. Only partial service had been restored at that point, so I had to take a rather roundabout way back into Paris. Among my fellow passengers were a bunch of English rugby fans, who asked me if the strike happened because England made the finals but France didn't. Hey, makes as much sense as anything!
I was quite happy to get back to Luxembourg and my messy, but quiet and paid-for, apartment. There will probably be more of those trips before I leave here, and that's fine. But I wouldn't mind if they aren't quite so long next time. Yes, that's right, even I get tired of being on the road after a while!
The Luxembourg airport is a lot like the country in general: small, but very convenient. It's just a short bus ride out of the city (of course, I was starting from work, which is already a ways out of the city center), no overpriced shuttles necessary. Love it! The terminal itself is rather drab, perhaps because it was under construction at the time and perhaps because, well, it is fall in Northern Europe. Airports are almost always either terrifically exhilarating or rather depressing for me. This time around, it was the latter, even though I had a solid lead on a gig in a country I love. I'm not really sure why, probably just that I was rather tired. Plus, I'm not crazy about spending yet more money on travel when this job is only a maybe. Of course, it wouldn't even be a maybe if I didn't go.
In any case, flying Luxair proved to be agreeable enough. Since I love to fly for the most part, an airline has to do something pretty horrible to get a clear thumbs-down from me, but it also has to be especially great for me to bother with a thumbs-up. Luxair got neither. It was good, not spectacular but good enough. My only complaint is that it was a small plane and we were all awfully cramped in there. No big deal on a nice short flight.
In my experience, the UK is the most tedious country for getting into. But that's not saying too much - I've never had a real horror story to pass on. It went the same way this time: the guard asked me what I was there for and for how long, and stamped my passport without demanding a return ticket or anything (which is good, as I didn't have one - more on that later). More interestingly, no one asked me for my carte de sejour, despite all the dire warnings against leaving the continent without it. I did have it with me, but as it expires next week and I'm expecting the new one to take a couple of months, I wanted to see if I could get out and back in without one. I can, evidently.
The interview went well, but I won't comment on it for now because the outcome is still up in the air. Suffice to say I'll be pleased if I get the internship, and I'm seasoned enough at this point to know I might not. Somewhat more interesting is the dinner I treated myself to the night before, at an Italian place in London. I must have really looked exhausted, because at least two waitresses asked me if I was feeling okay or if there was a problem with the food, or something. I assured them that I was just tired, and let them believe I was dealing with a five-hour jetlag instead of a one-hour one. Since I was tired, I didn't get to stick to my usual practice of visiting a cozy London pub after dinner, but comforted myself with the thought that I can do that every weekend if I get the internship. Not that I would, but I could!
Next it was on to Paris, for class and for a job fair at HEC. I was beginning to worry I'd never have an excuse to take my beloved Eurostar again, and it seems this will indeed be my last ever trip out of Waterloo Station, because they're changing it in a couple of weeks. (For those of you who don't know Waterloo, if you've seen The Bourne Ultimatum, it's where that journalist is murdered. It often is crowded enough that you could almost believe that could happen. Relax, I said almost.) In any case, I got into Paris just in time to catch the last train out to Jouy, which was indeed to be the last train for a few days thanks to a strike. I'll bet some of my old anti-unionization pals from Yale would find that absolutely hilarious. Hey, it's okay with me, I had to stay in Jouy for a couple of days anyhow!
The job fair was...yes, the job fair was. Actually it wasn't too bad; I did get a couple of pretty solid leads. As with the internship interview, I won't comment further for now, except to say that I left feeling more optimistic than I was when I came in. Some of the reps I talked to were pretty discouraging, with their statistics about how many applications they got per space available, but it's just as well that we're aware of the big picture, I guess. One of my buddies told me that a rep had been honest enough to tell him he shouldn't bother applying for a particular job for some reason or other. There's a lot to be said for that - think of the time you won't spend waiting to hear back on that application. It's still a step I'll be very happy to have behind me, but it must be done, and I did it.
Next thing I knew, I'd been on the road for nearly a week - someday I will miss that, I reminded myself as I stood there sleepily at the Jouy train station. Only partial service had been restored at that point, so I had to take a rather roundabout way back into Paris. Among my fellow passengers were a bunch of English rugby fans, who asked me if the strike happened because England made the finals but France didn't. Hey, makes as much sense as anything!
I was quite happy to get back to Luxembourg and my messy, but quiet and paid-for, apartment. There will probably be more of those trips before I leave here, and that's fine. But I wouldn't mind if they aren't quite so long next time. Yes, that's right, even I get tired of being on the road after a while!
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Late for the sky? Hope not!
I might as well admit it
There's been a time or two
When I've contemplated retiring for a while
But a hundred years from now
They'll still be asking "How?"
As they gaze upon my taxidermic smile
-Jimmy Buffett, "Last Man Standing"
It's another one of those times when everything is happening at once. The biggest of everything, at the moment, is an interview in England on Wednesday, followed by a seminar and a job fair at HEC later in the week, and the class on Friday and Saturday. Somewhere in there, I have to get a little more work done on my current job. I'd rather not speculate much in public just yet as to what's up with the interview in England. There are too many question marks at the moment. I will say it's just an internship - but an internship will buy me six months more of experience and time to find a permanent job. As the permanent job search isn't going as well as I'd like, I'm happy with at least that lead just now.
Travel buff that I am, what really excites me at the moment is my first experience with the Luxembourg airport. I'm curious as to what the international airport for such a small but strategically located country might look like, not to mention the national airline. I do know that Luxair has nice uniforms for their crew, having seen enough ads for it over the past few months. With a rather tight travel schedule, I'm not really looking forward to the check-in lines and such, and I'm debating how early I'll have to leave work on Tuesday to make the flight. (They're probably not happy with me at all at work just now, but then I'm not too fond of them eiehter at the moment. More on that later, depending on when the dust clears.) Since my next stop is back in France, I'll be taking my beloved Eurostar back - at least I know how long check-in takes there. I was beginning to worry that I wouldn't have another chance to take my favorite train. Now it looks like there may yet be several such chances.
After a month of being on the go much of the time like this, it might not surprise you to hear that I'm beginning to get tired of the whole world-traveler-with-no-real-home lifestyle. Of course that brings to mind rather depressing thoughts about how I might go about settling on a place to call home, which will of course have to wait until I find a job, and then I will only have so much choice as to where home is, and at this point it could be just about anywhere in the world. (Okay, that last point isn't so bad, although I would like to be able to choose to a greater extent than I can at the moment.)
But I haven't let it get me down much. For one thing, it never takes me to long to remember my state of mind before all these adventures started. Four years later, I still remember all too well my last several months in DC, waking up in the morning and wishing I were just about anywhere else, constantly aware that I was 30 years old and still hadn't seen very much of the world. Whatever life has thrown at me since then - getting stomach flu for three weeks in Taiwan, shivering through a Denver winter because heating costs were too high to keep the heat up, dealing with snotty Parisian academic administrators, the harsh realities of finding anything to do on a weekend in Luxembourg - I have never, ever wished I could just wake up in my room back in Arlington. And that definitely hasn't changed!
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Grand reopening
Welcome back, hope you all like the new look. I haven't decided yet if I'm going to re-post the music links, as it occurred to me that even I hadn't checked any of them in months. We'll see.
As for the "Guess the meaning of the title" contest, Pat got it half right: moien does indeed mean "hello" in Luxembourgsh. Since no one else tried to guess about 167, much less got it right, he wins. I already owed you the next round of drinks, Pat; maybe I'll get the next two now, if you can find me!
Now, what does 167 refer to? It's Luxembourg's rank among the countries of the world in terms of size. Wikipedia lists it at 175, but that's including a number of entities that are not really countries (Greenland, French Guiana, Puerto Rico, etc.). I guess that is fairly obscure, isn't it?
As for the "Guess the meaning of the title" contest, Pat got it half right: moien does indeed mean "hello" in Luxembourgsh. Since no one else tried to guess about 167, much less got it right, he wins. I already owed you the next round of drinks, Pat; maybe I'll get the next two now, if you can find me!
Now, what does 167 refer to? It's Luxembourg's rank among the countries of the world in terms of size. Wikipedia lists it at 175, but that's including a number of entities that are not really countries (Greenland, French Guiana, Puerto Rico, etc.). I guess that is fairly obscure, isn't it?
They are everywhere too
Just as there are Americans who never liked George W.M.D. Bush, there are French people who, despite his vilification of their country, like him. I met my first one yesterday.
I'm not sure if I ever mentioned it on here, and I know I haven't discussed it in much detail in any case, but I've been going back to HEC on the past few weekends for one last class. Corporate finance last spring just didn't cut it for me, and I wanted to say I'd learned something rather than just surviving the experience, so it's back to the old neighborhood every weekend until December. It's a long and somewhat expensive commute, but well worth it. Luxembourg gets awfully dull on weekends, and hey, I do some of my best thinking on trains. In any case, I had breakfast with a fellow student in that class yesterday, a French undergrad whom I hadn't met before.
Now, when people over here ask if I'm American, saying "Oui mais je deteste Bush" has always been good for a laugh. I said it a lot at first, but nowadays I usually don't say it unless people ask what I think of him. I do, however, often allow the subject in if people ask whether I plan to stay in Europe or go back home after I'm done. I often say I'd like to stay over here until Mr. Honor and Dignity goes back to Texas. I said as much yesterday when the fellow student I was eating with asked me about my future plans.
"You don't like Bush?" he asked.
"Not at all," I told him.
"Why not?" I reeled off a fairly brief and, for me, diplomatic list of things I don't like about him. My new friend listened politely, then said, "Really? I think except for Iraq he's been a great president."
"Okay," I said agreeably. Even I don't like talking politics all the time.
"Don't you like his tax policies?"
"Cutting taxes on the rich and not cutting anywhere else to pay for the war? Not really."
I knew what he'd say about that, and sure enough, he did. "But if you tax the rich, no one will want to work to make any money. Then you won't get any tax revenue anyhow."
I could have driven a Mack truck through that one, of course, but like I said, I wasn't in a mood to argue. "You're entitled to your opinion," I said.
"And what about his social policies?"
"That's what I like least of all," I told him.
"But look what you get over here, when you let people do whatever they want. Look at the Netherlands."
"You mean the drugs and prostitution?" That, I could agree with, although I don't like the Republican response to such things.
"No, I mean the homosexuality!" At which point I joked that we ought to switch passports ("I'd like to!" he said) and then excused myself to head to class.
Later on, on the train back to Paris, I talked to another guy in the class about it. He said everybody else in their intake agrees the kid is a nice guy, but his politics are rather bizarre. He - the guy on the train - also said he is originally from the Netherlands (but now a French citizen), hence the non sequitur example he threw into the conversation. It is rather nice to live in a place where that outlook on the world is considered bizarre, that's for sure.
I'm not sure if I ever mentioned it on here, and I know I haven't discussed it in much detail in any case, but I've been going back to HEC on the past few weekends for one last class. Corporate finance last spring just didn't cut it for me, and I wanted to say I'd learned something rather than just surviving the experience, so it's back to the old neighborhood every weekend until December. It's a long and somewhat expensive commute, but well worth it. Luxembourg gets awfully dull on weekends, and hey, I do some of my best thinking on trains. In any case, I had breakfast with a fellow student in that class yesterday, a French undergrad whom I hadn't met before.
Now, when people over here ask if I'm American, saying "Oui mais je deteste Bush" has always been good for a laugh. I said it a lot at first, but nowadays I usually don't say it unless people ask what I think of him. I do, however, often allow the subject in if people ask whether I plan to stay in Europe or go back home after I'm done. I often say I'd like to stay over here until Mr. Honor and Dignity goes back to Texas. I said as much yesterday when the fellow student I was eating with asked me about my future plans.
"You don't like Bush?" he asked.
"Not at all," I told him.
"Why not?" I reeled off a fairly brief and, for me, diplomatic list of things I don't like about him. My new friend listened politely, then said, "Really? I think except for Iraq he's been a great president."
"Okay," I said agreeably. Even I don't like talking politics all the time.
"Don't you like his tax policies?"
"Cutting taxes on the rich and not cutting anywhere else to pay for the war? Not really."
I knew what he'd say about that, and sure enough, he did. "But if you tax the rich, no one will want to work to make any money. Then you won't get any tax revenue anyhow."
I could have driven a Mack truck through that one, of course, but like I said, I wasn't in a mood to argue. "You're entitled to your opinion," I said.
"And what about his social policies?"
"That's what I like least of all," I told him.
"But look what you get over here, when you let people do whatever they want. Look at the Netherlands."
"You mean the drugs and prostitution?" That, I could agree with, although I don't like the Republican response to such things.
"No, I mean the homosexuality!" At which point I joked that we ought to switch passports ("I'd like to!" he said) and then excused myself to head to class.
Later on, on the train back to Paris, I talked to another guy in the class about it. He said everybody else in their intake agrees the kid is a nice guy, but his politics are rather bizarre. He - the guy on the train - also said he is originally from the Netherlands (but now a French citizen), hence the non sequitur example he threw into the conversation. It is rather nice to live in a place where that outlook on the world is considered bizarre, that's for sure.
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Speaking of the other shoe...
After a rather unpleasant altercation this morning (which is only the latest in a series of events that have soured my opinion of the company considerably since even before I started working here), there may be a big change in the works. I haven't made any decisions yet, mainly because I have to talk to some people back at HEC tomorrow, but I am leaning towards heading back to study there fulltime again.
No condolences necessary - the more I think about things, the more going back to Paris appeals to me, for a number of reasons which I might air later on. In any case, nothing is happening immediately. I have a project to finish here and I do intend to finish it before I do anything else. More to come later, and sorry to one and all for the vagueness of all this. It's one of those times when I just needed to write it down right now.
No condolences necessary - the more I think about things, the more going back to Paris appeals to me, for a number of reasons which I might air later on. In any case, nothing is happening immediately. I have a project to finish here and I do intend to finish it before I do anything else. More to come later, and sorry to one and all for the vagueness of all this. It's one of those times when I just needed to write it down right now.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Sometimes it's best just to let the shoe drop
I got my first rejection letter of the season just now.
I'm not here to whine about that. It was bound to happen sooner or later, though obviously I'd rather it didn't. What did bother me was the nature of the inevitable "letting them down easy" portion of the letter. After the usual explanation that they can't offer feedback on why my application didn't make the cut (which I of course didn't expect anyhow), they had to go and add, "we suggest you seek the invaluable help of your univristity's career services." How the heck do they know anything about the value of any university's career services? I'm not saying there's necessarily anything wrong with HEC's career office (I'm not offering a vote of confidence either, but I'm definitely not condemning them); it's just that I really hate it when anyone assumes I have such a wealth of resources to draw from when maybe I don't. It touches yet another raw nerve from back in DC, when I was very much left twisting in the wind in a program where one was supposed to have all kinds of support and assistance.
Yes, of course they had to say something, and yes, it's true that nothing they said would be too comforting. It's just that what they did say struck me as an especially poor choice of words.
I'm not here to whine about that. It was bound to happen sooner or later, though obviously I'd rather it didn't. What did bother me was the nature of the inevitable "letting them down easy" portion of the letter. After the usual explanation that they can't offer feedback on why my application didn't make the cut (which I of course didn't expect anyhow), they had to go and add, "we suggest you seek the invaluable help of your univristity's career services." How the heck do they know anything about the value of any university's career services? I'm not saying there's necessarily anything wrong with HEC's career office (I'm not offering a vote of confidence either, but I'm definitely not condemning them); it's just that I really hate it when anyone assumes I have such a wealth of resources to draw from when maybe I don't. It touches yet another raw nerve from back in DC, when I was very much left twisting in the wind in a program where one was supposed to have all kinds of support and assistance.
Yes, of course they had to say something, and yes, it's true that nothing they said would be too comforting. It's just that what they did say struck me as an especially poor choice of words.
Just like starting over...
Due to technical difficulties, I have had to re-start the blog. More to come later, including restoring the links and perhaps even some new ones, and I might even be able to recover some of the archives later on. Sadly, it appears some of them are lost, but hey, you've already read all the best ones again and again, haven't you?
I'm too busy to do the whole revamping now, but I didn't want anyone to think the blog had disappeared on you. More renovations coming soon! Meanwhile, anyone want to take a guess at the meaning of the new title? The winner will receive...well, something or other, next time I see him or her.
I'm too busy to do the whole revamping now, but I didn't want anyone to think the blog had disappeared on you. More renovations coming soon! Meanwhile, anyone want to take a guess at the meaning of the new title? The winner will receive...well, something or other, next time I see him or her.
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